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My Silhouette

By: Rhonda Beckman

Published: February 7, 2018

I have been slowly toiling with the wording in a manual that I am forcing myself to read. I took advantage of a fantastic sale that Costco was having and bought myself a “Silhouette Cameo 3”. That may not mean anything to you, but if you’re a hard core scrapbooker or sign maker, you may be wiping a bit of drool from your mouth right now. The Silhouette Cameo 3 is a machine that allows you to cut out lettering and images from different types of materials such as cardstock, vinyl and even cloth. You can use the fonts and images given or download your own imagery using the shared software and do all kind of nifty things that I have no clue how to do yet. I am incredibly excited to add the potential from this machine to my repertoire of perpetual ideas. Remember everyone, I have a bad, bad case of AADD (Artistic Attention Deficit Disorder) so when I get myself hooked onto a gadget, I try to create a million different things from it. So far I have managed to make a card that says, “Pee. Poop. Fart. Repeat”. Ah yes, I have waited all these years to do a Rhonda-fied version of “Live, Laugh, Love”. It finally spit out of my Silhouette Cameo 3 and I sat in awe at the words in front of me; my life is complete.

So far I am on page 68 of 118 pages of the manual which in itself is an incredible feat for me. Mind you, I have had to get out of my chair, walk around the studio table a few times and sit back down again so I don’t die of utter and complete boredom. Who the heck wants to read things like, “Though clicking the offset action button provides a starting point, you may fine tune the offset effect to any specified Offset Distance with the slider bar, or by typing in a specific measurement.”? I visualize a stanchy old someone sitting in a high-backed velvet chair with their glasses slipping lowly on their nose, drawling out those words so slowly that they actually pool in the base of my ear before connecting with the ear drum. Every word drains so slowly into my grey matter that I feel that it takes at least eighteen thousand re-reads to comprehend what each boring sentence means. I know I am going to just end up YouTubing everything, and so I should anyway, but for some torturous reason, I have decided to prove to myself that I can get through this manual with a modicum of understanding. So far we’re at Poop. Pee. Fart. Repeat.

To put it in perspective, I once had a fantastic coffee maker with a built in grinder. I didn’t know how to use the grinder so I avoided that function and happily bought ground coffee beans. But then I was gifted some delicious Kicking Horse Pass coffee: one of my favourites and it was BEANS. Darn it. So I went to the manual and decided to find out how to use that grind button. I read the WHOLE manual and could not find the information anywhere. You know why? Because it is so easy to use that you simply do not even need to write it in a manual. Pour the beans in, press the grind button, and voila, ground beans. So yeah, getting through the Cameo Silhouette 3 might take me a while, but when I do make something of a bit more artistic merit, I’ll be sure to share with you. I post almost all of my art on my Instagram account under the name THECLEVERCORVID. In the meantime, if you’re in need of a clever, funny card for a baby shower, have I got something for you!

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